A child’s first school is their parents/guardians, who are the primary caregiver. And the first reliable educator is their teacher.
Counselling is simply a helping activity that everyone needs. Since a child doesn’t know much about their emotional needs, it is our duty to be the curator of that.
From what I have understood so far, a human needs food, clothing, shelter, education, and treatment as basic necessities to stay alive. However, staying alive doesn’t guarantee becoming a sensible being.
Any new or experienced parents and teachers should seriously consider getting educated by sincerely studying counselling, which can be a book or two, or some free online resources.
I have seen children lose the connection with their parents after growing up because the parents were not regulating their own emotions and unknowingly burdening the children.
As a result of this vicious cycle, parents are complaining about the children for being ungrateful and cruel. It is heart-breaking to watch as a mother.
To be honest, I strongly believe it is the parents who cannot build a meaningful connection with their children most of the time. Because they were also never taught how to do so. And the pattern repeats.
Yes, they provided the basic needs like food, shelter, etc., but once the child manages to provide those on their own, there is nothing left for them to feel connected. And parenting is not about just providing the necessities for living.
I understand that those parents don't always know that they are being harmful by not trying to create an emotionally safe space for children. That’s how they were raised, it is a generational cycle.
But just because something has been happening for generations doesn’t mean they are right or wrong universally.
The connection with a teacher and a child, especially in their early age, is the second most important connection in a human life.
Now in my 30s, I still remember a few of my teachers as a great source of motivation. Specifically, a Bengali language and literature teacher in 9th grade.
She gave the class a common topic to write an essay on, which I cannot remember now. But I do remember that she told the whole class that we all did so well and she was proud of us. Out of nowhere, she mentioned my name and said, ‘’I wanted to mention your essay because it was so unique and magnetic! Is it okay if I read it here for everybody?’’
I was feeling very shy as an introvert when I said okay. She read the essay for the class and praised a bit more, then requested if she could keep the essay for her personal collection!
I said yes again without knowing how else to react.
This incident motivated me to keep on writing later on in life. Till 2018, I wrote online and gained a bit of fame as a writer, before falling into a long writer’s block due to circumstances.
Since counselling is built on empathy, unconditional positive regard and congruence, my teacher fulfilled all these criteria without even realising.
Parents and teachers are basically raising the future of this world. Raising responsible humans is kind of their superpower.
I was watching with my daughter a movie called The Freedom Writers, based on true stories. What an amazing watch it was! A perfect example of how the core counselling skills are portrayed there.
A strong bonding between parents and children or teachers and children can help the next generation to build empathy, confidence and sensibility in their characteristics.
I see people praising high-IQ people and worshipping them! But what's the point of having a high IQ when there is no empathy there?
I honestly believe it is high time to focus on our children’s mental well-being alongside their physical well-being.
What’s the point of raising a physically strong generation without being emotionally nurtured? Which will bring more chaos to the world than good. What makes us human is our emotional intelligence. Otherwise, we are just shells without souls.
