Core skills of counselling

Counselling is an act of helping that can occur in non-professional or professional settings.

Even though we use the skills of counselling every day, we usually don’t think about why or how our words, gestures, and tone of voice help others.

But, when in a professional setting, the helper (who is the counsellor) knows exactly how to approach in order to help the client. And to do that, they follow the core counselling skills, such as;

Unconditional Positive Regards (UPR):

While completing my Level 2 Counselling Skills course with the West London College, I have come to the conclusion that unconditional positive regard is THE most primary element in counselling. In any helping relationship, the presence of real care, regardless of all differences, works like the fuel in the car.

Congruence:

Counselling sessions usually last from 45 to 60 minutes. In this limited time, a client must feel the vibe of genuineness from the counsellor in order to aim for a successful result. This is congruence. Just like the UPR, it is one of the basic foundations of building a counselling relationship.

Empathy:

As a self-taught artist who loves to draw with ink and paper most of the time, I can call the UPR the paper, the pen is the congruence, and empathy is the ink in a counselling relationship!

All three need to work together at the same time for it to create a beautiful piece.

Silence:

I read somewhere that most people listen just to talk! Which I am too guilty of sometimes. As a counsellor, the client is the main focus; they need to have the space and opportunity to open up without being interrupted.

Active Listening:

Silence and active listening go hand in hand in a counselling relationship. Repeating keywords or reflecting on the parts of the stories ensures the client that the counsellor is here to actually listen.

Questioning:

With active listening comes good questioning. Asking important questions should be considered a talent, I believe. Open-ended questions help the client reflect on their thoughts more. It shows interest and care towards the client’s story as well.

Paraphrasing:

During or after the questioning, the counsellor can paraphrase and repeat the key phrases to the client. This shows that the counsellor is genuinely on the same page with the client. And sometimes, paraphrasing can open doors to different perspectives.

Summarising:

As a result of various sessions,  the sum of all the key points can be combined and discussed. This summarising process shows that the client is actually heard and understood attentively.

Overall, whether a counsellor or not, these skills are useful in any helping relationship, which can be with the partner, children, friends and so on. Because these skills not only help to grow but also create a meaningful connection.